funny football

Archive for April, 2010

Funny Kevin Keegan Quotes

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

King Kev

King Kev


Here are some quotes from one of our favourites…….

“The substitute is about to come on – he’s a player who was left out of the starting line-up today.”

“I don’t think there’s anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona.”

“Despite his white boots, he has real pace.”

“The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they’re not careful.”

“He’s using his strength. And that is his strength – his strength.”

“Nicolas Anelka left Arsenal for £23million and they built a training ground on him.”

“They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Heighway and he’s nothing like him, but I can see why – it’s because he’s a bit different.”

“I would ask anyone to try to understand the world he lives in. We all have to accept that he is married to Spice Girl Victoria Adams – and I think he copes very well with it.”

“Goalkeepers aren’t born today until they’re in their late twenties or thirties.”

“You can’t play with a one armed goalkeeper… not at this level.”

“The last thing I wrote on the board before we came out was: ‘If you go out there and show me that determination and you show this crowd that you want it more, they’ll be that twelfth man for you. They’ll give you that extra lift.’”

“There’ll be no siestas in Madrid tonight.”

“Argentina won’t be at Euro 2000 because they’re from South America.”

“At this level, if five or six of you don’t turn up, you’ll get beat.”

“You just need one or two players playing well to have a chance in this league. But you need nine or 10 playing well to have a chance to win.”

“We don’t get any marks for effort like in ice skating.”

Adriano drink problem for Brazil

Saturday, April 3rd, 2010

That’s right sports fans, we’re not talking bull, nor are we wasted at the time of writing this post.

It’s now official that the Brazilian is out of control (not quite as bizerk as Edmundo and the long list of mental brazillians) according the the Guardian.co.uk. Yes we are aware that it’s not on the beeb (bbc.co.uk) and that it’s not quite as a good a reference as can be but it’s a broadsheet we can rely on for factual information.

Now we have ascertained the news that Adriano is a piss head, his club director of Flamengo stated to a local radio station; ‘the reason Adriano is temporarily out of the team is because he began drinking again’.

How quality is that? I reckon the endorsment deals from Alcohol and Sprirt groups should come rolling through now that this news is ‘proper’. We’ve made a Carlsberg Advert that we think should be shown to the world and encorporated some sexy girls (proper footy team) into the pic.

sexy girls, booze and Adriano - Carlsberg Advert

sexy girls, booze and Adriano - Carlsberg Advert

“When he starts drinking, he can’t stop,” Braz told Rádio Bandeirantes. “He had overcome this but it started again because of this personal situation he is going through.”

Personal situation they say…… i think the booze is his secret source for his super power shots.

Aidie you are the man.

What if District 9 was real?

Thursday, April 1st, 2010
The Mothership above Johannesburg

The Mothership above Johannesburg

How much more interesting would the World Cup be if District 9 really existed!! For anyone who doesnt know, District 9 is a film about an extraterrestrial race (Nicknamed Prawns, or Fucking Prawns by the main character) forced to live in slum-like conditions on Earth as there spaceship has grounded to a holt over the city of Johannesburg.

Prawn Relation Specialist Wikus Van De Merwe

Prawn Relation Specialist Wikus Van De Merwe

I think it would be very unfair on the City of Johannesburg and the local people to move the games that are due to be played there so i think that extra care needs to be taken by all to ensure there are no major problems. I think we should intergrate the 2 million prawns into the world cup carnival and see what happens. I think FIFA would go for it, they would love a PR stunt like that.

I think the World Cup will pass without problems if we do the following….

A real danger to Prawns

A real danger to Prawns


As North Korea’s group games are in the City, i think that the dangerous Kim Jong-il should be placed under some sort of international arrest, just while the World Cup is on. This will ensure that the Prawn spaceship will not be nuked and relations with the aggressive race stays reasonable.
Brazilian women should be made to cover up for their own protection as the Prawns may get really horny and aggressive around beautiful women and explode. Uglier nations need not worry.

Sexy Women will be made to cover up

Sexy Women will be made to cover up


In the fan parks and bars, only lager shandy should be served to the prawns as we are unsure what beer will do to them. Also, no spirits under any circumstance.
Prawns are only allowed to support South Africa as they live there now for free, its only fair.
Prawns are not allowed a seat in the stadiums as they are too tall, however they can sit on the roof if they so wish, aslong as they can get up and down in a safe manner.
Trusted Prawns to be employed as team security for all nations and paid fairly in tins of catfood.
Pele, Sep Blatter and David Beckham must do a tour of District 9 slum and meet the poor prawns as they would in any normal world cup and have photos taken, set up a foundation etc…
Introduce the Prawns to the beautiful game by holding various tournaments for fans to compete in.
Super intelligent Prawns to be offered chance to be studio guests and pundits for various TV broadcasters

logosml
© 2009 Funny-Football | Powered by JND Web Design Manchester | Sitemap | RSS | Log in