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Archive for the ‘Satrical Soccer’ Category

Tuesdays Gossip Column

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

Carlos Tevez

Carlos Tevez’s agent has confirmed that he is no longer interested in a big money move to Old Trafford or Eastlands but is willing to hold talks with Wolverhampton Wanderers sould the newly promoted club meet the players valuation.  Source: The Daily Jail

West Brom Chairman Jeremy Peace has confirmed that should Tony Mobray leave for Celtic, instead of  using the compensation package to lure a big name they will pocket the cash and ’think outside the box’ by offering Phillip Taylor from the hit TV show The Apprentice the job on a 1 year contract. Source: The West Midland Chronicle

Nike have confirmed that they are to ban Dider Drogba from wearing their Mecurial Vapour brand of boots after reports from an international youth tournament of players diving on the floor and rolling around, often for no reason. It is reported that Drogba has inspired this latest craze. Source: The Didier Diving School

Former world player of the year Zinedine Zidane has pleaded with Real Madrid President Florentino Perez to break the bank to sign Rory Delap from Stoke City. Zidane was quoted saying ‘with Kaka and now Ronaldo; Real Madrid have all the flair and pace that they need, however also need to consider other attacking options ‘.  Source: Real Madrid Website

Colin Kazim Richards is a shock target for Manchester United should the Valencia deal fall through. The former ‘coca cola kid’ was signed by a fan  for Brighton from Bury for £250,000 as part of a national competition. Kazim Richards currently plays in Turkey for Fenerbache. Source: Turkish Living

Manchester City boss Mark Hughes is reported to be beside himself with hurt and pain as it was confirmed Sunderland have made an approach for Richard Dunne. Hughes has retreated to the family home for comfort as he tries to deal with the bad news. Source: Manchester  Gossip

And finally, it has been reported that Rafael Benitez is trying to protect image rights of the style of his famous beard. Rafa feels unhappy about other people shaving in this particular style he views as his own unique identity and is therefore trying to prevent people from wearing the unique goatie and glasses combo. Source: Mothership of football

Edmundo becomes Police Officer

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

Edmundo becomes Police Officer

Edmudno and Pedrinhio

Edmudno and Pedrinhio

The famous Brazilian footballer Edmundo (nicknamed the “Animal”), now 38 has retired from the beautiful game and decided to become a police officer in Brazil. The forward has had a turbulant playing career and has played for nearly 20 different clubs.
After a long line of problems and time in the spotlight he has decided to stop being a bad man and do some good for the local community.
His appointment to this role is likely to outrage a number of people around the world due to past controversy.
In 1999, Edmundo faced prosecution from an animal welfare group after hiring a circus group for his back garden. It was alleged that Edmundo proceeded to get the chimpanzee (Pedrinhio) drunk on whiskey and beer. No stranger to controversy, Edmundo was also arrested for dangerous driving in 2005 and banned for 6 months, on top of various on field antics which included starting a 2 team brawl in the South American Supercup quarter-final.
Lets hope his latest move works out abit better for him.

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