funny football

Archive for the ‘Strange but true’ Category

Footballer Loan for house extension

Thursday, June 16th, 2011

Do you think that there’d be any chance that Balotelli would sort me out a loan for my house extension?

As odd as it may seem, the fact of the matter is that Mario is as generous as he is mad, it was captured and i’m referncing ‘The Sun’ newspaper here that the Manchester City striker blitzed 235 in town, won approximately £25k and then shared his glory cash of a thousand pounds with a homeless man who was sighted outside the establishment.

It doesn’t appear odd now does it? How many guys will be loitering around the casino in the hope that the striker will win big and dish out the winnings, what happens in a loosing scenario? I wouldn’t like to find out, as Mario looks quite hardcore, especially when he’s out and about with Chris Samba of Blackburn (Chris is well small by the way!).

So? Who reckons that the house extension that i’m dreaming about will happen with a loan from Balotelli? Get this….. it’s a loan, ill even pay it back with a decent return APR!

House extension loan here we go!

Ashley Cole guns down Student at Chelsea Training

Monday, February 28th, 2011
ashley cole shooting .22 rifle

Ashley Cole takes aim at Tom Cowan

That’s right sports fans, Ashley Cole has taken his shooting practice litterally here, Ancelotti has said that he needs to improve his shot as it could be deadly. We think that Ashley took this criticism to heart a little. He decided to start the training session off with a .22 air rifle and began the shooting practice as instructed.

It’s looking good on the training front, as he managed to shoot Tom Cowan, not fatally, so he needs to polish that aspect of this attribute.

I bet Tom will be laughing his student ass to the bank with this one, which personal injury compenation claim company will take this one on, its either Chelsea or Ashley Cole who will end up paying, unless Moaty resurrected himself for one “last blast”. All things aside, that was a little tactless, Raul Moat doesn’t deserve this kind of credit, that fool is where he belongs right now.

A little less dark now should we have ourselves a cheeky poll on this subject? Now we’re sure that one of the defenders put Ashley up to this mischief, being realistic who takes aim and pulls the trigger without checking to see if it’s loaded first? Come on Ash, who are you trying to kid?

Who put Ashley Cole up to taking the shot?

View Results

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Girl chase on China Football Team

Friday, March 26th, 2010

Came accross a photo the other day just looking for the best looking womens football team, in all honesty, as much as they are likely to be able to arm wrestle Kenwyn Jones and win there must be some teams in the world with some big-time female athletes in it.

Again with some honesty just fit girls in football shirts is the future and i wanted to see some talent.

Don’t ask me what led me to begin my quest for the holy grail in china-well some asian chicks are hot so i thought i’d blast the google image search for that first-i found this.

chase into the shower.

chase into the shower.

I think the caption should be on the picture-last one into the showers gets teamed first.

Wishful thinking……. nah, into the w**k bank that goes.

So just who do you think has the fittest girly football team in the world, post your thoughts and opinions here guys and gals.

THIS IS AFRICA!!

Thursday, March 18th, 2010
The greatest ever african player

Greatest Italian Football Club

The greatest ever african player

Greatest Italian Football ClubFC Monaco France footballkallon_fc

With all the talk about South Africa and the up coming FIFA World Cup its easy to forget that Africa is a west place! Plenty of funny and bizarre things happen in Africa and one story that really tickled me this week was about Mohammed Kallon.

Remember him? Yeah thats right, the former Inter and Monaco forward and on of the hottest young players of his generation. Well he failed so badly that not only did he go back to Sierra Leon but set up his own club and made himslef Chairman, Manager, Captin and of course main man! Just when i thought that was west enough, he comes up with a perfect name for the club. Yes you got it! FC KALLON!!!! Mint, i love africans, always good for some entertainment. But the best part is, that his club was so rubbish….despite him still being by far the greatest ever player to come out of there (if not the greatest ever human) he sold himself to a Chinese club! I hope they know what they are letting themselves in for out east!

DERBY COUNTY, THE FIFTH BEST TEAM IN ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE (EPL) HISTORY

Sunday, June 7th, 2009

Manchester United BadgeArsenal BadgeChelsea BadgeLiverpool BadgeDerby County

As bizarre as this sounds Derby County actually have a good case for being ranked as the fifth best team in EPL team to have played in the EPL since its inauguration in 1992. This is based on two statistics in particular. Points scored per game and goals scored per game in the EPL.

Derby County have only spent 4 seasons in the EPL and in that time, well they have hardly set the league on fire. Especially the last season they were in the league (2007-08) where a measly 11 points scored and 1 victory became the lowest ever points total in EPL history!

But the reality is that when an All Time Premier League table is constructed. Derby County out score all but the ‘Big Four’ in points per game! In incredible 1.651 points per game is only bettered by Liverpool (1.764), Chelsea (1.793), Arsenal (1.892) and of course Manchester United (2.141).

I’m not too sure but I reckon how many points a team scores per game in a league system is the best statistic to look at when comparing how good a team actually performs in a league system!

Even more amazing is the goals per game ratio held by Derby County in the EPL, they actually break into the ‘Big Four’ and rank as the 3rd best scoring team ever in the EPL. With a ratio of 1.63 goals scored per game only Arsenal (1.70) and Manchester United (1.96) out score the midlands team.

So before all the Everton, Tottenham, Newcastle, Blackburn or Aston Villa fans start crying about their teams being the biggest challengers to the ‘Big Four’ just have a good long look at the top 5 teams in the EPL All Time Table for points and goals scored per game, and tell me that if Derby were to be promoted again that they are not the biggest threat in terms of points and goals scoring.

Key to the table: Shaded name= no longer in the EPL; GP= games played; GF= goals for; GA= goals against; GD= goal difference; GS/G= goals scored per game; GC/G= goals conceded per game; P= points; P/G= points per game

ALL TIME EPL TOP FIVE POINTS PER GAME TEAMS

GP

GF

GA

GD

GS/G

GC/G

P

P/G

1

Manchester United

658

1288

562

726

1.96

0.85

1409

2.141

2

Arsenal

658

1116

580

536

1.70

0.88

1245

1.892

3

Chelsea

658

1045

631

414

1.59

0.96

1180

1.793

4

Liverpool

658

1068

634

434

1.62

0.96

1161

1.764

5

Derby County

166

271

420

-149

1.63

2.53

274

1.651

ALL TIME EPL TOP FIVE GOALS SCORED PER GAME TEAMS

GP

GF

GA

GD

GS/G

GC/G

P

P/G

1

Manchester United

658

1288

562

726

1.96

0.85

1409

2.141

2

Arsenal

658

1116

580

536

1.70

0.88

1245

1.892

3

Derby County

166

271

420

-149

1.63

2.53

274

1.651

4

Liverpool

658

1068

634

434

1.62

0.96

1161

1.764

5

Chelsea

658

1045

631

414

1.59

0.96

1180

1.793

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