Everyone’s heard about Mike Ashley asking for bids for the club via email so though why not join in!!! Heres ours….
Dear Mike
I read in one of the national papers that you wanted serious offers for the club via email. I understand that I am probably abit late now but thought would drop you an email anyway.
I intend to make a bid to takeover Newcastle United Football Club in the next few months. I am heading up a consortium with a few friends of mine who wish to remain anonymous at this time.
The money is not in place at this moment in time however the “wheels are in motion” so to speak. I am to be made redundant from my job In August so I intend to pay off my overdraft then make a joint application for the 100 Million with my acquaintances. We have the paperwork already and intend to approach Northern Rock for most of the sum. I understand they may wish to stay out of this due to their sponsorship of the club and if so then we shall have to ask Natwest or someone else.
We only have the best intentions for the club and with us being fans of clubs that have Premier League status, I don’t foresee and conflict of interest or problems.
What we would request if you consider our offer is that you can keep Alan in charge of the team. If he is happy to do so then we would seriously consider him for the permanent role once the takeover is complete. I understand that he may need some kind of incentive after all the troubles last season so I thought we could get a statue erected of him in the Town Centre if he complies.
The squad will have to be looked at and wages slashed. We will need a different breed of player in the Championship; lazy sods like Viduka will have to go. I think we might have to get rid of Michael Owen also, which would be a great shame. He would not be of benefit to us in that division, we need someone more in the Shefki Kuqi mould. I know you probbably wont want to hear this either but Joey Barton should stay, he is everyone’s favourite villain, look at Max in Eastenders, he’s not a very nice person but it would not be the same without him. Lets make Joey the club captain, everyone is abit naughty sometimes but he has plenty of fight still left in him and that’s what we need.
Another idea that ive had which could be a success on and off the field in terms of winning matches and PR is that we could approach the actor that starred in the film Goal and played the part of Santiago Munez. With the film being based around Newcastle United, if we were to prize him away from his acting, it could be a real success for us. Santiago knows the club well from filming Goal, he is also a good looking lad so will sell shirts. He looks ok at football aswell and with him not currently being a footballer we could probably get him on a free.
There’s a few things there for you to think about anyway Mike, I am sure you have allot of emails to get through. We will await conformation of your interest before we take the next step and I can assure you that this will be kept away from the press.
Look forward to your response
John Robeingman
